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Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet, by Gary Kowalski
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From the moment pets come into our lives, we know the day will arrive when we have to say farewell. Still, we are never emotionally prepared for the last adieu. In Goodbye, Friend, Gary Kowalski takes you on a journey of healing, offering warmth and sound advice on how to cope with the death of your pet. Filled with heartwarming stories and practical guidance on such matters as taking care of yourself while mourning, creating rituals to honor your pet's memory, and talking to children about death, Goodbye, Friend is a beautiful and comforting book for anyone grieving the loss of a beloved animal.
- Sales Rank: #16567 in Books
- Brand: New World Library
- Published on: 2012-03-13
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x 5.25" w x .50" l, .40 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 184 pages
- New World Library
Review
“This wonderful book is the best guide I know of that can help us deal with the death of our animal companions, whom the more we love the more we will grieve.”
— Dr. Michael W. Fox, veterinarian and syndicated columnist
“Saying goodbye to a pet soulmate is something we dread but must inevitably accept. Goodbye, Friend offers answers that are woven into a tapestry of care, compassion, and unconditional love for the pets with whom we’ve shared our hearts and homes. Then, we can become much more than our pet’s best friend — we can become healers, teachers, and angels for our friends and family when they, too, lose a beloved pet.”
— Marty Becker, DVM, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Pet Lover’s Soul
“The death of a beloved pet is one of the hardest things to bear. This insightful and compassionate book will help readers accept the grief and move on in their lives.”
— Philip Gonzalez, author of The Dog Who Rescues Cats
“Uplifting, comforting, spiritual. If you have an elderly or ailing animal companion, please read this book!”
— Alex Pacheco, cofounder of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA)
From the Author
The bond we share with animals is especially pure: one hundred percent love, undiluted and unadulerated. Because the relationship is so direct and powerful, the grief we experience when our pets die can be profound and intense.
As a parish minister, I often counsel those seeking comfort in time of loss. And as an animal lover myself (having accompanied two fine dogs to the end of the trail and helped my children struggle with the loss of an assortment of parakeets, rodents, and goldfish) I know the emotional roller-coaster firsthand.
There are no timetables for healing. There are no easy repairs for an aching heart. While I can't offer any way around the pain, I can share what's helped me and assisted others in finding peace, for you are not alone on this journey. Through the centuries, people of varied faiths (as well as poets, physicians, veterinarians and philosophers) have accumulated insights that help us face death with hope and wisdom, with gratitude for the years we share, with trust in the mystery that is at once beyond our ken and present in every living creature.
About the Author
The Reverend Gary Kowalski is the author of eight books on nature, spirituality, science, and the environment, including The Souls of Animals, Revolutionary Spirits: The Enlightened Faith of America's Founding Fathers and Science and the Search for God. His work has been translated into French, German, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese and Czech, appeared in magazines like Tikkun and Yoga Journal, and been voted a "Reader's Favorite" by the Quality Paperback Bookclub. A graduate of Harvard College and the Harvard Divinity School, Reverend Kowalski has served Unitarian Universalist congregations across the United States. He currently resides in Burlington, Vermont.
Most helpful customer reviews
49 of 49 people found the following review helpful.
This Book Will Help Tremendously
By Amazon Customer
Almost a year ago, I lost my remarkable rescue dog, Tallulah, after 13 years together. It was a staggering blow; one I knew would come someday, but one I never wanted to prepare for.
After talking to my friends for weeks and finding it difficult to discuss how upset I was without tearing up (or bursting into tears completely, depending on how my friends reacted to the news), I found this book by chance and it really made a difference.
For some time, I was "upset that I was so upset," since I had been able to process deaths of family members and move on quickly, while this one struck me as a lingering sadness. Mr. Kowalski's book made me realize that there are reasons for this reaction, and, more importantly, that they are a natural part of human emotion (SPOILER ALERT: We spend every waking moment with our pets, letting them sleep near us, watching us while we get dressed in the morning, and taking them to the mailbox with us, so, yes, it's okay to miss that presence.)
I've read some reviews that fault this book for making them more upset, and I can understand why they feel that way. This is not a book that will make the hurt go away, but it is a book that will make you feel better about being upset, and will give you some comfort in knowing that there's nothing wrong with you or the grief you are feeling. We all process our grief on different timetables, but it's important to remember that it's not a race and it's okay to take all the time you need.
I read this about six weeks after Tallulah left, and while it turned the waterworks on, it did so in a way that was cathartic and helpful. There's even a chapter on when to open your home up to a new pet (and that depends completely on you) that made me realize it wasn't a betrayal, but a tribute to your beloved to do so. In July, we rescued a Lab/Hound mix named Conrad, and while he won't replace our girl, I realize there's enough room in our hearts to love this little guy just as much.
Our pets are a joyous part of our lives. They're steadier in their emotions than we are and accept the fact that they can build their worlds around us and ask for surprisingly little in return. This book acknowledges that whether your pet has four legs, fins, a shell, or scales, when they leave us, they leave a tremendous void that hits us hard. And it let me know that it was okay to ache, because that means they did the job they were sent to do.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Helpful read
By Apryl Hostetler
I found to the book helpful when I was dealing with the grief that followed the death of our dog. He covers many thoughts and feelings that come up at this time. It was good to know what I was going through was normal and to read about ways to lessen the pain of losing one so close to me.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
I just lost one of the loves of my life ...
By allen f montero
I just lost one of the loves of my life: my 14 year old golden named sophie. reading the healing and inspiring passages from this book helped me through what will always be a difficult time.
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